Movie Review: CLUE

CLUE

1985

PG

"You all seem to be very anxious about something."
-- Cop

Clue is a 1985 comedy directed by Jonathan Lynn that's adapted from the popular board game of the same name. The film opens on a stormy night in 1954 New England, where six strangers - Colonel Mustard (Martin Mull), Mrs. White (Madeline Kahn), Professor Plum (Christopher Lloyd), Mrs. Peacock (Eileen Brennan), Mr. Green (Michael McKean) and Miss Scarlet (Lesley Ann Warren) - all arrive at a mansion for a dinner party of sorts. They each encounter the house's butler, Wadsworth (Tim Curry), who escorts them all to their places at dinner. A Mr. Boddy (Lee Ving) joins the group midway through supper, and from there, the six guests learn that they all have one thing in common: Boddy is blackmailing all of them. He has brought them all together to discuss their "financial arrangements" and tells them that if they can kill Wadsworth, each of them will be able to leave the house, and all the evidence against them will be destroyed. Boddy presents each guest with one of the following potentially lethal weapons: a knife, a revolver, a rope, a candlestick, a lead pipe and a wrench. However, not everything goes exactly to plan, and the rest of the evening turns into a murder mystery that terrorizes everyone involved.

Clue is one of those films that I grew up watching on television. I remember it would always play on the family-friendly channels, and there was many a time that I can recall watching it. The film itself flopped during its theatrical release, but it has since gained a bit of a cult following. Sometimes the films with such a following are some of the best, so don't let its lackluster success at the box office deter you from giving this one a gander.

One of the things that most people remember about Clue is that it actually has three different endings. During its theatrical run, only one of the endings would play on random, so you could, in theory, see the film three times and have three different experiences. Once it started playing on television and VHS, however, the three endings were played back-to-back-to-back, inter-cut with title cards saying things like, "That's how it could have happened, but how about this?" or "Here's what really happened." If you can snag the film on DVD, it will give you the option to watch one ending at random or to watch all three simultaneously, but once you've seen all three, I think the simultaneous watch is the best. The endings in the film are brilliant, but they're definitely not the only reason the screenplay succeeds.

What's truly fantastic about the screenplay, which was penned by director Jonathan Lynn, is that a first-time viewer is probably going to be left guessing as to what the film's ultimate outcome might be. It's difficult for me to deduce whether the ending is predictable simply because I've seen the film on so many occasions, but the ending isn't exactly where the best bits come. Yes, the finale is fantastic regardless of which ending you watch, but the plot and the dialogue throughout the film is so top-notch that I have to consider this screenplay to be one of the best comedic screenplays ever to give life to a film. The jokes and gags come at the audience at a mile a minute, and it's going to take you two or three viewings just to catch all the little references here and there. I could make an entire post simply detailing my favorite jokes from the film, but that would offer too many spoilers, in my opinion. What you need to know is that Clue offers a compellingly funny story that blends a number of types of comedy together to make for a fantastically-funny film. The film has a lot of brains behind the silliness, and that's where the brilliance lies.

Fortunately, we're getting a fantastic cast to bring the film's story and characters to life. The entire cast is pitch-perfect, and it makes for quite the comedic romp. What's even better is that it's filled with loads of familiar faces, making the characters even more relatable. Each of them proves their comedic worth at some point throughout the film, and they each play their part to a tee. However, the real credit has to go to Tim Curry, who offers a performance in his career that rivals only his role in The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Curry brings a manic energy to the screen that is unmatched by anyone else, and his piece towards the end of the film is so perfectly-acted that I sometimes feel the need to applaud him. It's honestly just that good. The casting crew for this film just knew how to pick 'em, and I think we can all be glad that they did such a marvelous job.

I also have to pay tribute to John Morris, who composed the score for the film. At all times, it fits the events on-screen. The score had to be creepy, it had to be funny, it had to be fanciful. And Morris succeeded in making it all of these things at once. And the film's music truly helps set the mood and the tone of the film, and that alone gives it merit.

At the end of the day, Clue is easily one of the funniest movies I have ever had the privilege to see. Yes, it delves into the dorky here and there, but the intellectual humor blends so seamlessly with the silliness that its difficult not to enjoy this movie. I'd even go so far as to say its one of the best movies I've ever seen, simply because it offers one of the most entertaining movie-going experiences I've ever had, and it manages to remain engaging no matter how many times you watch it. You'll always be finding new things to love and laugh about, and that's what makes Clue both brilliant and timeless.

Movie Review Summary

Grade: A+

Should You Watch? Yes

Movie Review: SANTA CLAUS

SANTA CLAUS

1985
PG


"Now, all those within the sound of my voice, and all those on this Earth everywhere know that henceforth you will be called Santa Claus."
-- Ancient Elf

Santa Claus is a 1985 family film directed by Jeannot Szwarc that tells the story of the origins of Santa Claus himself before giving him a contemporary problem to face. The man who would be Santa Claus (David Huddleston) lived a humble life delivering toys to the children of his village on Christmas Eve, but after his wife Anya (Judy Cornwell) and he are caught in a snowstorm on year, the two magically find themselves surrounded by elves who lead them to a mystical factory at the North Pole. According to an ancient prophesy, this man was destined to become Santa Claus, and so, he begins to take his gift-giving on a global scale for all of eternity. Fast-forward to the present day, and a slightly disgruntled elf named Patch (Dudley Moore) who desperately wants to impress Santa with his toy-making skills makes his way to New York city and joins with a big-time toymaker B.Z. (John Lithgow) to create the next big sensation for the mass consumer public, forcing Santa to reconsider his entire toy-making philosophy.

I can honestly say that I had never heard of this film before doing a quick search on NetFlix for a fancy holiday movie to watch this evening. Unlike many of the other films I've reviewed during this holiday season, this one just hasn't quite been on anyone's radar, and after giving it a viewing, I'd have to say there's probably a good reason for such. Critically, the film never garnered much success - it currently holds an 18% approval rating on Rottentomatoes.com - and it hasn't fared much better with your average reviewing public (the Internet Movie Database lists its current score as a 5.2 out of a possible 10.0). Despite the negative feedback that the film has received, I still held out hope that it might prove to be at least moderately enjoyable.

Sadly, the film falls short of any real expectations. The screenplay can be split into two sections, almost two acts, if you will. The first act focuses on Santa's origins, and to be fair, that part of the story fascinated me more than the second part. Sure, the filmmakers made every attempt to include as many Santa and Christmas clichés as possible, but despite that, it still serves as an interesting version of how the many may have taken up his duties. The film's second act, however, fails to stir even the slightest bit of imagination. I feel like I've seen it all before: a former employee decides to go against his former boss by helping out the main competition. How many films have followed that storyline in the past? It seems tried and tested, and under the Christmas lights, it just doesn't seem to fit all that well. The film turned sour and ultimately a bit boring, and I had to fight to keep my attention with the screen.

What's worse is that our acting ensemble doesn't exactly pick up the slack. While there are some recognizable faces, there's no one who's really giving all that great of a performance. While I've personally never heard of our titular lead Huddleston, a quick look at his acting career shows that he's appeared in such big-time films as 1974's Blazing Saddles and, perhaps most famously, as the titular character in 1998's The Big Lebowski. However, he doesn't offer much in terms of a role here, despite playing a Santa Claus that I think we all could wish was the real one. We're also getting some spotty performances from some bigger names like Oscar nominees Moore and Lithgow, who are both too over-the-top to be believed in any way imaginable. We're also getting some moderately bad performances from our two child actors - Christian Fitzpatrick and Carrie Kei Heim - but I don't want to stomp on them too much. The only person who offers even a slightly is Cornwell as Mrs. Claus, but she's used so sparsely that it's almost impossible to notice.

Ultimately, Santa Claus is probably a Christmas film that you should pass. It's not really offering anything all that fascinating, and I personally couldn't find a way to keep myself engaged with the characters or the storyline. Still, I can't completely bash it because it does have quite a dash of Christmas spirit. That being said, I still don't think it's worth the time or the effort to watch it, so watch it at your own discretion.

Movie Review Summary
Grade: F
1.5 Thumbs Down

Movie Review: COMMANDO

COMMANDO

1985
R

Commando is a 1985 action film directed by Mark L. Lester. It centers around one man's quest to find his kidnapped daughter. John Matrix (Arnold Schwarzenegger), a former special forces soldier, lives a quiet and peaceful life with his daughter Jenny (Alyssa Milano). One day, however, a group of men kidnaps Jenny from the Matrix home, and after a short pursuit, take John hostage as well. He soon learns that one of the men behind the group is Bennett (Vernon Wells), a former member of Matrix's special forces team who is now working for a man named Arius (Dan Hedaya). In exchange for his daughter's life, Arius wants John to assassinate the current president of a fictional country named Val Verde so that he can step in and assume power. John reluctantly agrees and makes his way to the airport to be escorted to the country; however, he finds a way to escape his captivity and makes his way to save Jenny.

If you want to watch a ridiculous '80s action flick, you needn't look farther than Commando. Now, this movie's right up my alley, but I probably never would have thought to watch it had it not been for its mention in Steven Jay Schneider's book, 101 Action Movies You Must See Before You Die (he also has specialized books for gangster movies, horror movies, sci-fi movies, and war movies). I'm so thankful for his mention because I probably would have otherwise passed over this little bit of a gem.

What makes this movie great is exactly what gives it a low grade in relation to my grading system (you'll notice the grade below the picture, but I'd also like you to take notice of the contrasting "2 Thumbs Up"). Poorly-scored films can still be absolutely entertaining, and that's definitely the case with Commando. Essentially, we've got a poorly-written, entirely predictable screenplay that's paired with some traditionally bad acting. Add some over-the-top violence and '80s-grade gore, and you've got the makings of a classic action flick. There's really no need to go into detail explaining why the screenplay or the individual performances are so bad because I'd just be speaking redundantly. All you really need to know about Commando is that it's entirely entertaining and totally worth it's 90-minute run-time.

If you're looking for a quick and satisfying watch, throw Commando into the DVD (or Blu-Ray, or VHS or what have you) player. It's ridiculous. It's cheesy. At times, it's downright stupid. But it will always be a fun ride. And c'mon, you've got the Governator kicking ass - isn't that something that everyone can rally around?

Movie Review Summary:

Grade: D
2 Thumbs Up

Movie Review: FRIGHT NIGHT

FRIGHT NIGHT

1985
R

Fright Night is a 1985 horror film directed by Tom Holland that follows teenage Charley Brewster (William Ragsdale) in his quest to convince his loved ones that his new neighbor, Jerry Dandridge (Chris Sarandon) is actually a vampire. When someone finally occupies the empty house next door, Charley, ever the voyeur, starts to notice strange goings-on in the middle of the night. He thinks he sees a coffin being placed in the basement as well as the transport of dead bodies from the house to the new occupant's car. Along with a number of news stories about recent murders, Charley starts to believe that the new man in the neighborhood is actually a member of the undead. When his mother unwittingly invites Jerry over for a drink, Charley realizes that he's no longer safe and waits for the imminent attack which comes later that night. He manages to get away and quickly seeks the help of a TV horror host named Peter Vincent (Roddy McDowall), a self-proclaimed "vampire killer." With the help of girlfriend Amy (Amanda Bearse) and oddball Evil Ed (Stephen Geoffreys), Charley and Peter attempt to take down Jerry before any more harm can come to the neighborhood.

For the first hour of the film, I found myself a little bit bored. I think the best word to describe the film's build-up is "dated." You could tell that Fright Night is an '80s flick because it has that oh-so-unmistakable '80s aura about it. However, once we get to the thick of the action, the movie picks itself up and starts a sprint to the finish line. Once we have our team together and they make their way to disprove the existence of this vampire, Fright Night grabs you by the collar and drags you through the muck and the gore (well, '80s gore) all the way to its mostly predictable finale. Fortunately, the beginning of the film does just enough to keep you watching, so you won't have to miss the splendidly cheesy climax.

We're not really getting any all-star performances in this one, and to be honest, there's a couple actors who would probably nab a Razzie "win" if this film came out today. Ragsdale does just enough for us to care about him as our lead, but if he would've suffered a horrific fate in the end, I probably would've shrugged it off. And to be fair, I could say that about most of the characters. I didn't really care about any of their well-being, but considering the genre and the year in which it was made, I can't really hold that against it. McDowall has a couple of scenes that make Peter Vincent worth watching, and if anyone is holding this movie together from an acting perspective, it's him. So kudos where kudos are due. I wanted to like Chris Sarandon as a charismatic villain, but his role felt forced and too over-the-top, so I really couldn't like him or hate him in the manner that I'm sure the filmmakers wanted.

There are some pretty decent visual effects here and there, but it's nothing to stand up and applaud. The gore is sufficient for a film like this, but it's not like it's realistic (such as in films like the Saw franchise - and yes, you can call that extremely realistic in relation to this one). However, the film is never really all that scary. There's moments where you know they were trying for cheap thrills, but they didn't get me. It goes the gross-out route a couple of times (as mentioned with said gore), but that's about all we're getting.

I'm trying to figure out just how Fright Night has garnered a 93% approval rating on RottenTomatoes, but I guess it's not my place to question such authority (cough). If anything, you might want to give this one a gander considering a remake, starring Anton Yelchin and Colin Farrell, is slotted for an August 19, 2011 release. Perhaps that'll be a little more fitting, but we'll have to wait and see.

Movie Review Summary:
Grade: C
1 Thumb Up

Movie Review: THE BREAKFAST CLUB

THE BREAKFAST CLUB

1985
R


You can watch the trailer here

I understand that it's close to blasphemy that it took me this long to watch The Breakfast Club, but now that I've seen it, you can all get off my back about it!

Essentially, we've got five teenagers from vastly different social circles all thrown together in a Saturday detention hall. We are introduced to "a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess and a criminal" who absolutely loathe one another from the outset of their time together. However, as the day progresses, they begin to see that maybe they're not all that different after all.

With a plot so relatively simple, one can imagine that the film could have turned into a run-of-the-mill flick that was both cheesy and predictable. Instead, we're presented with a movie that they might as well have called "High Schooler Psychology 101." This is the most psychologically-infused look at what it means to be an individual in high school that I have yet to see. John Hughes hit the nail on the head with this one, and it's a shame I've wasted so much time without this film under my belt. The screenplay is tightly-written and extremely clever. Hughes definitely had his finger on the pulse of life as a teenager when he created this work of art. He crafted a film that's hysterical, touching and heartfelt all at the same time. It's hard not to laugh and cry along with the five characters presented to us on the screen.

The acting is also pitch-perfect as each character is brought to life with such authenticity that it's hard not to think about seeing these groups in your own high school years. Each actor brings both comedy and drama to the table, and it's hard to pick one as the stand-out of the group because they all have their moments. Just a stellar ensemble cast all around.

Oh, and can I just make the quick mention that the music was fantastic? From Simple Minds's "Don't You Forget About Me" bookending the film to the perfectly-scored instrumental sequences, the music is just perfect.

I'd really love to go into more detail, but I'm about to fall asleep at any moment, so I'll have to cut this off here. However, if you haven't seen The Breakfast Club yet, don't wait like I did - go watch it right now.

Grade: A
Current All-Time Rank: Best - #38
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