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Showing posts with label Alyssa Milano. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Alyssa Milano. Show all posts

Friday, February 25, 2011

Movie Review: HALL PASS

HALL PASS
2011
R



Hall Pass is a 2011 comedy directed by Bobby Farrelly and Peter Farrelly. It centers around two married men, Rick (Owen Wilson) and Fred (Jason Sudeikis), who are given a "hall pass" by their wives, Maggie (Jenna Fischer) and Grace (Christina Applegate), respectively. This pass essentially gives them a week off from marriage, allowing them the opportunity to cheat on their spouses if they so choose. The decision to give the men free reign stems from their obsession with sex, and the two women think that, if they can just get it out of their system, their marriages will ultimately end up much stronger. So, the two men spend six days doing whatever they can to get some action, but they quickly realize that they might be quite a bit out of practice from their "glory days" back in college.

I'd like to start by saying that I didn't have much in terms of expectations going into the theater (my triumphant return to the cinema after a twenty-nine day hiatus as a result of constant sickness). Sadly, my choice of film was not as triumphant, but considering the rest of the drivel currently holding serve at my local theaters, I probably wouldn't have fared much better with another choice. But I digress. I went into Hall Pass not expecting much, and "not much" is exactly what was delivered.

The basic story is about as cliché and predictable as you can imagine. You know from minute one how Rick and Fred are going to handle their new-found freedom, and at the same time, you can see exactly how Maggie and Grace are going to react. It's like getting on a plane. Let's say, for example, you're taking off from Los Angeles and will be landing in New York. Although there may be a few bumps along the road - or, in the air, I should say - you can be pretty sure you're going to end up in New York. Landing in Miami would be a twist in your plans, right? That's exactly how Hall Pass felt. You know your final destination from the opening credits, so it all comes down to the ride to get there.

Unfortunately, the ride isn't all that pleasant. It's not that it's overly terrible; it's just a little dull. The jokes aren't very fresh, and although I chuckled a time or two, there's no point where you'll be rolling with laughter. Not one, single moment. In addition, the amount of raunch is juvenile at best. Some films have handled raunchiness very well (see: 2005's Wedding Crashers or 2009's The Hangover). But Hall Pass's gags were just downright lame, and the laughs simply weren't there.

I don't really blame the actors in the film for the travesty they've created because I'm sure a lot of it has to do with a particularly bad screenplay. That being said, Owen Wilson has done much better work. This is his first film since 2008's Marley & Me, and it's not really resounding very strongly. Sudeikis has a couple of moments, but it's nothing close to making the movie worthwhile. We do get a couple of decent cameos from the likes of Joy Behar (from TV's "The View"), Alyssa Milano, Richard Jenkins, and Kathy Griffin. And there's even a certain amazing stand-up comedian named Bo Burnham for those of you looking closely, but he's not given any reign whatsoever. I was a tad disappointed with that.

Overall, this movie is probably a must-miss. You're not really getting anything entertaining out of it aside from the random cameos which aren't spectacular anyways. The film is just too dumb to be funny, but it's too unfunny to be entertaining. However, if there is one reason to go see Hall Pass, it would be the opportunity to see the new teaser trailer for The Hangover: Part II. ...oh wait, what's that? It's already on YouTube? Well, considering you can find it there - and directly below because I felt like embedding it - there's really no reason to waste your money on Hall Pass. Just kiss your wife and live with the fact that you're married and be happy. That's basically the moral of the story.


Movie Review Summary:
Grade: F
1.5 Thumbs Down

Friday, February 11, 2011

Movie Review: COMMANDO

COMMANDO
1985
R



Commando is a 1985 action film directed by Mark L. Lester. It centers around one man's quest to find his kidnapped daughter. John Matrix (Arnold Schwarzenegger), a former special forces soldier, lives a quiet and peaceful life with his daughter Jenny (Alyssa Milano). One day, however, a group of men kidnaps Jenny from the Matrix home, and after a short pursuit, take John hostage as well. He soon learns that one of the men behind the group is Bennett (Vernon Wells), a former member of Matrix's special forces team who is now working for a man named Arius (Dan Hedaya). In exchange for his daughter's life, Arius wants John to assassinate the current president of a fictional country named Val Verde so that he can step in and assume power. John reluctantly agrees and makes his way to the airport to be escorted to the country; however, he finds a way to escape his captivity and makes his way to save Jenny.

If you want to watch a ridiculous '80s action flick, you needn't look farther than Commando. Now, this movie's right up my alley, but I probably never would have thought to watch it had it not been for its mention in Steven Jay Schneider's book, 101 Action Movies You Must See Before You Die (he also has specialized books for gangster movies, horror movies, sci-fi movies, and war movies). I'm so thankful for his mention because I probably would have otherwise passed over this little bit of a gem.

What makes this movie great is exactly what gives it a low grade in relation to my grading system (you'll notice the grade below the picture, but I'd also like you to take notice of the contrasting "2 Thumbs Up"). Poorly-scored films can still be absolutely entertaining, and that's definitely the case with Commando. Essentially, we've got a poorly-written, entirely predictable screenplay that's paired with some traditionally bad acting. Add some over-the-top violence and '80s-grade gore, and you've got the makings of a classic action flick. There's really no need to go into detail explaining why the screenplay or the individual performances are so bad because I'd just be speaking redundantly. All you really need to know about Commando is that it's entirely entertaining and totally worth it's 90-minute run-time.

If you're looking for a quick and satisfying watch, throw Commando into the DVD (or Blu-Ray, or VHS or what have you) player. It's ridiculous. It's cheesy. At times, it's downright stupid. But it will always be a fun ride. And c'mon, you've got the Governator kicking ass - isn't that something that everyone can rally around?

Movie Review Summary:
Grade: D
2 Thumbs Up