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Tuesday, May 24, 2011



Mega Python vs. Gatoroid is another film brought to us by the Asylum via director Mary Lambert. The film opens with environmentalist Dr. Nikki Riley (Debbie Gibson) releasing a number of snakes and pythons that she "rescued" back into the wild of the Florida Everglades. Soon, the snakes grow much larger than they should, causing quite a bit of problems - including loss of life - in the community around the swamps. After her fiancé is killed by a snake, local sheriff Terry O'Hara (Tiffany) sets a personal vendetta against the creatures. Her plan to kill said pythons? Feeding anabolic steroids to the local alligator population. As one can imagine, the gators grow to massive size, and through their battles with the pythons, the snakes also continue to grow. Fast forward six months, and things seem to be moving along well for the Everglades community until giant pythons and alligators once again begin to attack. Nikki and Terry reluctantly have to join forces, and with the help of an herbatologist (A Martinez), the group sets out to stop the creatures before they can destroy the entire community.

Considering this is another film brought to us by the Asylum and the Syfy channel, it's probably not fair to go into too much detail describing just how incredibly bad it is. Looking back, I might've judged Mega Piranha a tad too harshly, but I'll stand by my review as it currently reads. Still, I'd like to say now that I won't be delving into the specifics of why Mega Python vs. Gatoroid was bad; rather, I'll be pointing on the moments that should make it a worthwhile venture for you to sit and watch.

While the acting is especially dreadful, there are quite a few performances that are so over-the-top that you'll find yourself rolling with laughter as the actors dish out their lines. None are more extreme than our two lead females, both of whom were 1980s pop sensations on the musical charts. By themselves, they're pretty horrendous actresses who definitely know how to make the worst of a line or a scene; however, when you put them in the presence of one another... let's just say we might have found cosmically-bad acting gold. Now to be fair, a lot of their laughable interplay works as a result of the film's "screenplay" - for example, there's one scene where they have a prolonged catfight that seems to drag on and on, and the only reason I could find to have it was for the comic relief it provided. They play characters on two completely opposite ends of the spectrum, and it's rather hilarious to watch them interact with one another.

And the film constantly refers to where these two got their start. For instance, the film's soundtrack includes Gibson's "Snake Charmer" and Tiffany's "Serpentine," and there's even a moment in the film where one of them says, "I think we're alone now," to which the other immediately responds, "There doesn't seem to be anyone around." Yes, it's ridiculously cheesy, but I couldn't help but chuckle at the in-jokes that surfaced here and there.

I already feel like I've talked a tad too long about this flick, but I'll try to give it just a little bit more. In the end, anyone watching Mega Python vs. Gatoroid obviously knows what type of film they're getting ready to see. If they actually expected something brilliant, then it wouldn't have crossed their mind in the first place. However, the people who want to watch this film are the ones who know what it hopes to deliver, and in that regard, I can say that Mega Python vs. Gatoroid is a success. Just remember: even a bad movie can be enjoyable. You just have to know what to look for.

Movie Review Summary:
Grade: F
1.5 Thumbs Up

Addition to Rankings
Worst All-Time - #44

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