Movie Review: WINTER'S BONE

WINTER'S BONE

2010
R


You can watch the trailer here

Winter's Bone is a 2010 drama directed by Debra Granik that tells the story of Ree Dolly (Jennifer Lawrence), a teenage daughter who is helping her family (which consists of two younger siblings and a sick mother) barely scrape by. When she learns that her drug-dealing father has used her family's property to cover his bail bond and misses his court appearance, she goes on a search to find him - or his supposedly dead body - so that the family can continue to live at their home.

The screenplay is good, but it's nothing spectacular. We get a sense of the emotion of the film, but it never really conveys completely through. In a way, the story just goes from one of Ree's encounters to another as she tries to piece together her father's whereabouts. The ending is satisfying, but a little too much so for my own tastes.

If you want to watch Winter's Bone, watch it for the acting. Lawrence is fantastic as our lead, and she single-handedly kept me engaged with the story. It's a very quiet performance - don't expect over-the-top emotion - but Lawrence is so strong and so convincing that it's difficult not to get wrapped up in her character. Most of the rest of the cast keeps up with her, and special mention should be made of John Hawkes's role as Ree's uncle, Teardrop.

Winter's Bone is a solid film that's definitely worth a watch. The story is good, but definitely take in Jennifer Lawrence's performance, which has generated some Oscar buzz at times throughout the year. Maybe she'll be rewarded come awards season.

Movie Review Summary:
Grade: B
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Favorites: DISNEY SONGS

For those of you who don't know, I saw Disney's 50th animated movie, Tangled, yesterday in theaters, and it got me thinking about my favorite Disney songs of all time. So, I have compiled a list of my twenty favorite ones. PLEASE UNDERSTAND that they are simply my favorite ones - I'm not saying they're the best ones of all time. My favorite does not mean I think they're the best. I tried to keep it to only animated movies, but one exception had to be made! But please, enjoy :]

20. "When She Loved Me"
from Toy Story 2



19. "Once Upon a Dream"
from Sleeping Beauty



18. "Friend Like Me"
from Aladdin



17. "The Bare Necessities"
from The Jungle Book



16. "Hakuna Matata"
from The Lion King



15. "Beauty and the Beast"
from Beauty and the Beast



14. "Why Should I Worry?"
from Oliver & Company



13. "Cruella de Vil"
from 101 Dalmatians



12. "Bella Notte"
from Lady and the Tramp



11. "Part of Your World"
from The Little Mermaid



10. "You've Got a Friend in Me"
from Toy Story



9. "I'll Make a Man Out of You"
from Mulan



8. "Kiss the Girl"
from The Little Mermaid



7. "I See the Light"
from Tangled



6. "You'll Be in My Heart"
from Tarzan



5. "Go the Distance"
from Hercules



4. "Best of Friends"
from The Fox and the Hound



3. "So Close"
from Enchanted



2. "When You Wish Upon a Star"
from Pinocchio



1. "A Whole New World"
from Aladdin

Movie Review: TANGLED

TANGLED

2010
PG


You can watch the trailer here

Hang on, Toy Story 3. Looks like Disney has a little bit more up their sleeve...

Disney's take on the Rapunzel story, which was directed by Nathan Greno and Byron Howard, adds a few twists and turns with a little bit of contemporary attitude. As a baby, Rapunzel (voiced by Mandy Moore) is stolen from her royal world by Mother Gothel (voiced by Donna Murphy) for the fountain-of-youth-like powers that her hair contains. She locks the girl in a remote tower for eighteen years, and every year on her birthday, Rapunzel sees a cloud of lanterns bathe the sky (we're told that these come from the castle where the king and queen hope their daughter will see them and return home). Rapunzel desperately wants to find the meaning behind the lanterns, believing there to be a connection between them and her birthday. Then, on the eve of her eighteenth birthday, a mysterious thief named Flynn Ryder (voiced by Zachary Levi) makes his way into her tower, and after making a deal with Rapunzel, agrees to escort her to the flying lanterns she so much wants to see.

As you can imagine, the story takes a number of both comedic and dramatic turns throughout its one-hundred minute run-time, and it just flows so well. This is Disney firing on all cylinders, with every facet of the film fulfilling - no, exceeding - expectations. The story keeps you captivated throughout the movie, and there's never a dull moment.

The voice work is fantastic, especially from Moore who provides both the speaking and singing voice for our lead Rapunzel. She brings such a sense of innocence and wonder to the screen that I haven't seen in a Disney movie since Ariel in The Little Mermaid. Levi also holds his own as our male lead, but the real accolades have to go to Murphy's stellar voice performance as our villain. There's something about Mother Gothel that's both eerie and wonderful. Her song - one of the better one's in the film - is a tour-de-force coming from the Tony Award-nominee.

Speaking of the music: I'm so glad that Disney chose to hold onto the musical aspect of their animated films. Because this was going to be the first CGI princess, I wondered whether they'd go the route of previous Disney-Pixar films that held no emphasis on original compositions. However, I was pleasantly surprised to find that the soundtrack is simply astounding. The aforementioned Mother Gothel song ("Mother Knows Best") may be the strongest vocally, but there's a song that Moore and Levi share called "I See the Light" that may very well be one of my favorite Disney songs of all time, just falling short of Aladdin's "A Whole New World" (my all-time favorite). Sure, it may take a little time to pick up steam, but I think that some of these songs could become as iconic as some of the former Disney classics.

When you see the film, be on the lookout for a couple on-screen references to other Disney fare (I noticed a reference to both the film Sleeping Beauty and the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland). Please, please take in this movie - Disney's 50th animated feature film - because I don't think you'll be disappointed. I went in with my reservations, and I came out smiling from ear to ear.

Movie Review Summary:
Grade: A-
Current All-Time Rank: Best - #128
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Movie Review: THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE: FIRST SEQUENCE

THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE: FIRST SEQUENCE

2010
R


You can watch the trailer here

Honestly, I don't have much to say about this movie. The only people who are actually going to watch it are the people who want to see this "human centipede" in action. Sadly, once you see it midway through the film, it loses any type of hook and just becomes utterly boring. Seriously, it's one of the worst movies I've ever seen. Sorry, Tom Six. Your baby wasn't all that splendid to behold.

Normally, I'd go into more of an analysis, but I'm pretty exhausted at the moment. Instead, I'll leave you with Daniel Tosh's Spoiler Alert from his show, "Tosh.0." It will tell you literally everything about the film and how ridiculous it actually is.

Tosh.0	Weds 10:30pm / 9:30c
Spoiler Alert - Human Centipede - Uncut
www.comedycentral.com
Tosh.0 Videos Daniel Tosh Web Redemption

Movie Review Summary:
Grade: F
Current All-Time Rank: Worst - #17
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Movie Review: HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY

HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY

2008
PG-13


You can watch the trailer here

To be brutally honest, the only reason I even contemplated watching Hellboy II: The Golden Army was because I once had an obsession and desire to watch every movie ever nominated for an Academy Award (Hellboy II was nominated for Best Achievement in Makeup at the 2009 ceremony). However, I have a rule not to watch a sequel or remake without watching the original film, so I watched the first Hellboy film a few months ago. After thoroughly enjoying it, I figured I might as well give the second one, which was also helmed by Guillermo Del Toro, a chance as well.

We open on a young Hellboy/Red hearing the story of the Golden Army from his adoptive father. Fast-forward to present day, where Hellboy/Red (Ron Perlman) and company are still hard at work keeping humanity safe from behind the scenes. Red desires the spotlight, however, and it starts to cause problems - mainly, the public doesn't particularly like him or his kind. When Prince Nuada (Luke Goss) makes his appearance, we learn that he wants to re-establish the Golden Army in order to destroy mankind. Red and company take chase in an attempt to stop him.

The screenplay essentially provides your standard action flick. There's some scenes of dialogue in between the action sequences that are meant to dispel any confusion, but it's not as though the plot is terribly confusing. I mean, it's about a demon-like creature who loves Cuban cigars and Tecate beer and helps save the world. There's nothing complex about that at all. However, we do get a few moments of comedy that caused some laugh-out-loud fun. Keep an eye out for a drunken Barry Manilow duet...

Since most of the cast remains the same as the previous film, there's not much to say about the acting as everyone essentially holds serve with their performances in the first installment. Goss is good as our villain, but he could have been fleshed out a little more in order to be a little more sinister. But it works just fine for this movie's purposes.

Essentially, it's big, mindless fun. There's some pretty good special effects, and it definitely has that undeniable Guillermo Del Toro stamp. If you are a fan of the first Hellboy film, then I don't see why there'd be any reason for you to pass up the sequel, even if it's just to kick back and smile for two hours.

Movie Review Summary:
Grade: B-
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Movie Review: HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS - PART 1

HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS: PART 1

2010
PG-13


You can watch the trailer here

I would like to start by saying that I am not a huge Harry Potter fanatic; I have not read the books, but I have been relatively pleased with the franchise thus far. I'm sure that there is plenty of information in the books that has not been translated to the screen, but you can always chalk that up to time constraints. However, I feel as though the previous six films found ways to make the movies accessible to your average viewer like me who may simply be following the story chronicled by the films. Unfortunately (and I know I'm going to catch a lot of heat for this, so if you're a die-hard Potter fan, you should probably stop reading now), Deathly Hallows: Part I just simply did not deliver.

Part of what makes a movie a good one is its ability to be easily understood. For a franchise such as Harry Potter, this means that anyone should be able to watch the films and understand them without actually having read the books themselves. Sure, fans of the books will have more appreciation for the films (as is evidenced by the $24 million the newest installment made on last night's midnight showings), but a good film will make sure that everyone, readers and non-readers alike, can access and enjoy the story being told.

Deathly Hallows: Part I did not do that for me. From the opening sequence, I was left in utter confusion. I had followed the previous six films pretty easily, but this one never really gave me a chance. There were scenes of seeming explanation every once in a while, but they moved so quickly that there was no way an unfamiliar viewer could possibly keep up. Then, the sequences between those explanations mostly consisted of the lead characters teleporting from place to place and staring blankly into the distance. There was nothing to grab me; there was nothing to hook me. It was just way too confusing, and to make matters worse, it was completely boring. I found myself nodding off time and again - that did not bode well for this movie. Direction from David Yates just didn't fulfill any expectations I had going into the theater.

I understand that Deathly Hallows was the second-longest book in the series, trailing only Order of the Phoenix in page length; however, the filmmakers found a way to keep Order of the Phoenix as a single film, whereas the split of Deathly Hallows now more than ever seems like a ploy to pull as much money from the franchise as possible. What's even more difficult for me was that the film version of Order of the Phoenix was my second favorite installment in the franchise. Essentially, Deathly Hallows: Part I offers little more than a build-up to the grand finale coming next summer. I hope above all hopes that Part II can deliver; otherwise, I'll have to think of the end of the Harry Potter franchise as a total and complete failure.

Movie Review Summary:
Grade: C-
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Movie Review: DON'T BE A MENACE TO SOUTH CENTRAL WHILE DRINKING YOU'RE JUICE IN THE HOOD

DON'T BE A MENACE TO SOUTH CENTRAL WHILE DRINKING YOUR JUICE IN THE HOOD

1996
R


You can watch the trailer here

It's really tough to make a spoof that touches on the source material while being hilarious without diving into silliness. Don't Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood, which I will simply call Don't Be a Menace for the rest of this post, is a spoof from the Wayans brothers. They wanted to create a spoof of coming-of-age "hood" films, and they predominantly take situations presented in 1991's Boyz n the Hood and 1993's Menace II Society.

Don't Be a Menace, which was directed by Paris Barclay, follows Ashtray (Shawn Wayans) as he chronicles his life in the hood. He always aspires to leave the hood and finds a potential path when he meets Dashiki (Tracey Charelle Jones) who also wants to leave the hood. However, he has quite a few bases set in the hood, with friends like Loc Dog (Marlon Wayans) and Preach (Chris Spencer) rounding out his gang. The film basically shows a number of situations that one would be familiar with if they have seen the aforementioned films (and I strongly recommend watching those before Don't Be a Menace, if you can; you'll get more out of the spoof experience).

The screenplay does touch on quite a few of the "hood" film conventions, and it crafts a comedic twist to a number of situations that I recognized from the other films. As I said previously, however, it's hard to create a spoof that doesn't delve into silliness, and unfortunately, silliness is a key component of Wayans brothers' films. In the beginning of the movie, I was rolling with laughter, but as it went along, I found those guffaws turning into chuckles and scoffs. It just got to be a little too much ridiculousness for me, but that's not to say that someone else wouldn't absolutely love it.

The acting, on the other hand, stays pretty consistent throughout the movie, and Shawn Wayans is definitely a good lead to follow. He brings a wide range of emotions to such a comedic role. Marlon is typical Marlon, if you've seen any of his other comedic ventures. I think the best parts of the films involve a number of cameos, from Keenen Ivory Wayans to Bernie Mac to Vivica A. Fox.

For me, Don't Be a Menace is a fun little movie that's good for a day of boredom, but it's definitely not making its way up the annals of great comedy for me. It's a solid little piece of entertainment, and that' probably exactly what the Wayans brothers were going for.

Movie Review Summary:
Grade: B-
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Movie Review: FRANKENSTEIN MEETS THE WOLF MAN

FRANKENSTEIN MEETS THE WOLF MAN

1943
Not Rated


You can watch the trailer here

I had never heard of this movie before I popped my copy of The Wolf Man into the DVD player yesterday. Apparently the DVD was a double feature, and the second film was Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man. To be honest, I think I know why I'd never heard of it until now.

The film, which was directed by Roy William Neill, picks up four years after the events of The Wolf Man with a newly resurrected Lawrence Talbot (reprised by Lon Chaney Jr.) who apparently cannot die (this is despite the fact that he was bludgeoned by a silver cane in the previous film, which should have killed him). He breaks out of a hospital and sets on a quest to find a cure for his lycanthropic ailment and runs into the gypsy woman Maleva (reprised by Maria Ouspenskaya) who tells him of a doctor named Frankenstein who may be able to help. The two embark to meet Frankenstein but run into resistance upon reaching his town. They learn of his death, and Talbot runs off, turning into a werewolf again. He unearths the Frankenstein monster (Bela Lugosi) and turns to another doctor to take both of their lives.

Although they started with a relatively interesting premise, the screenplay just doesn't play out as well as the film's predecessor. It lacks any real amount of suspense, and the dialogue is simplistic at best. Chaney Jr. essentially recycles the same three or four lines ("I want to die;" "I turn into a wolf;" etc.) throughout the film, and it gets pretty old pretty fast. Oh, and the ultimate resolution is anti-climactic, and I just felt like it didn't resolve any of the problems posed by the film.

The acting is okay, but there's nothing to rave about. Chaney Jr. and Ouspenskaya are playing the same roles as before, and Lugosi is probably attempting a carbon-copy of Boris Karloff's take on the monster. There just really isn't much to say about the acting for this movie.

If anything, it's a fun to see two horror titans take battle against one another, but you have to wait much too long for much too little. I can definitely see why this film isn't listed among the annals of horror classics.

Movie Review Summary:
Grade: C
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Movie Review: THE WOLF MAN

THE WOLF MAN

1941
PG


You can watch the trailer here

Sometimes the best way to start a Monday is to polish off a classic film. If you can find one in the horror genre, then you're definitely set. I've had a copy of The Wolf Man sitting on my desk for the past few days, and I finally got around to watching the George Waggner-helmed feature.

In 2010, you'd probably be hard-pressed to find anyone who doesn't know the basic story of The Wolf Man, especially after the release of that horrendous 2010 remake; however, it's my duty to give it to you regardless. Lawrence Talbot (Lon Chaney Jr.) returns home after receiving news of his brother's death. As he begins to re-assimilate to living in his father's castle, he decides to explore the town, whereupon he meets Gwen Conliffe (Evelyn Ankers). The two and a friend visit a gypsy one night to have their fortunes told; the gypsy, however, turns out to be a werewolf who kills their friend and attacks and injures Lawrence before he finally kills the creature. A cloud of doubt surrounds Lawrence and Gwen's story as Lawrence becomes the lead suspect in the murder of the gypsy and then of a gravedigger, and he must find out just what's going on - a path that ultimately leads him to the knowledge that he, himself, is a werewolf.

The story is actually rather good, and it has a few twists and turns here and there that will keep you captivated throughout. I know when a screenplay is good because I start to nitpick at the little things in the film that don't make sense. I'll chalk it up to the fact that the movie was made seventy years ago, but there are a few moments of discontinuity. They're not, however, anything that strays from the story, so don't be worried about that.

The acting is very good all around. Chaney Jr. followed in his father's footsteps to become the go-to guy for creature features like this one (Chaney Sr., as you may know, played the titular roles in films such as 1923's The Hunchback of Notre Dame and 1925's The Phantom of the Opera). Chaney Jr. does well and is convincing as a conflicted man. Evelyn Ankers also plays her part to the best of her ability. However, it is Claude Rains as Sir John Talbot that steals the scene whenever he graces the screen. The four-time Oscar nominee is definitely an effective force behind The Wolf Man.

I couldn't possibly review this film without mentioning the makeup and special effects departments. By today's standards, it's nothing, but back in 1941, the shots they managed were probably incredible and revolutionary. And I can't say enough about the appearance of the wolf man himself. I'm not gonna lie - I'd probably be more terrified if I saw this one coming at me than if I saw the remake's take.

All in all, it's a solid film that stands up to the tests of time. Sure, it's not "scary" by today's standards, but nowadays, it's rare to find a quality horror film at all. And, without films like this one, the horror genre of today would be drastically different. So, take a chance and give a classic a chance; you won't be disappointed.

Movie Review Summary:
Grade: B
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Movie Review: 127 HOURS

127 HOURS

2010
R

You can watch the trailer here

I first saw 127 Hours about two months ago at an early screening. Due to a confidentiality agreement, I was unable to blog about the film until its official release on November 5th; however, I wanted to see the movie one more time before applying any opinion towards it. Ladies and gentlemen, that moment has finally arrived.

The film tells the true (and it seriously is true) story of Aron Ralston, backpacker and mountaineer extraordinaire. During a backpacking trip through Blue John Canyon in Utah in 2003, Ralston (played by James Franco) missteps and finds his arm trapped beneath a boulder at the bottom of a crevasse. Over the course of the next - you guessed it - 127 hours, Ralston does everything he can to survive, and ultimately escape, from his trap.

It's rare to have a film that just absolutely clicks. Everything in the movie is just about pitch-perfect, and that couldn't have been easy to do considering the subject matter. Let's start with the screenplay. Upon my first viewing, I felt like the screenplay was a little scattered and strange as it delved into the hallucinations associated with Ralston's dehydration. It all seemed a little out of place. However, I've since had time to think about the storyline, and after tonight's viewing, I've definitely come around. It's one of the best views of increasing insanity as a result of such a horrific event. It's so well-written and concise that it's hard not to get drawn in and stay hooked. Danny Boyle, the Oscar-winning director of Slumdog Millionaire, directs the film in a way that only he could.

However, the screenplay would be nothing if our lead can't hold his weight. Franco had to bring his A-game considering he's on the screen for at least ninety percent of the film. And boy, does he deliver. This is the defining role of Franco's young career. I had seen bits and pieces in the past of his acting range (see: 2005's The Great Raid and 2008's Milk), but he has never delivered a performance quite like this. He perfectly conveys the character arc that Ralston goes through from hour one to hour 127. We see his ups; we see his downs. In a word, Franco is absolutely perfect. That's right: PERFECT. If he does not garner an Academy Award nomination, I will be absolutely devastated. It would be a crime against humanity.

Some of you may have heard about the people who needed medical attention while seeing 127 Hours, and the movie is pretty intense (especially our climactic escape). However, it's also emotionally trying; it packs quite the punch. However, I think this movie is a necessary film that needed to be made. You have to remember that it's a true story and that the real Aron Ralston actually suffered the way we see Franco suffer. My friend Sara, with whom I saw the film tonight, first mentioned this sentiment to me. She said that it's a movie that today's generation needs to see because so many people have no idea what a real struggle is. We move from moment to moment, attached to our phones or to Facebook or to other pieces of the 21st century that make us forget about living. Aron Ralston went through five days of hell to have the chance to live. Maybe we all need to be woken up.

Drop what you do and go watch 127 Hours.

Movie Review Summary:
Grade: A
Current All-Time Rank: Best - #81
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Addition to Awards

Movie Review: SKYLINE

SKYLINE

2010
PG-13


You can watch the trailer here

When I had seen the original trailer for Skyline, words could not describe the level of excitement that I had felt. It had painted a haunting picture of a movie that could have had incredible potential. At the same time, it really didn't give anything away, and I started to think that it could be this year's District 9. Then, a second trailer (link given above) was released, and it gave a little more information about the film. In my mind, it gave too much. All of my excitement quickly dissipated as I waited for a film that looked to mirror the War of the Worlds remake. Oh, what I wouldn't give to have simply watched that movie today.

The basic story behind Skyline, which was directed by Colin Strause and Greg Strause, goes a little bit like this: bright lights start to descend on Los Angeles, and these lights draw people towards them before seemingly making them disappear. We find out later that it draws them into a stupor that allows them to be sucked into an alien ship hovering overhead. A small band of friends try to survive the alien invasion. Honestly, that's really about it.

I would love to be able to talk about the film's screenplay, but it really didn't have one. We see the lights and the ships; we see people being sucked into the sky; we see one friend after another die in a slightly different way than the previous one; we see military operations; we see more military operations; we see acceptance. But there's no story arc. There's absolutely nothing to follow. It's just a bunch of random people running around, and we have absolutely no reason to care about these people.

Actually, I should take that back. The film does try to give us reason to care. At key moments in the film, the filmmakers attempt to shove emotion onto the viewer using a few key concepts: loss of a best friend, girlfriend is actually pregnant, etc. But by the time these things happen, they've already lost the audience.

I could talk about the acting, but it's really just terrible all around. You can look up the actors if you'd like, but I'd rather not publicly humiliate them here.

I do have to say one thing: the special effects were fantastic. The filmmakers successfully created an original alien (although some forms of it slightly resembled the aliens in Independence Day), and the ships themselves were extremely intricate. The film is visually stunning; I do have to give it that.

Unfortunately, it seems as though the filmmakers chose to spend their entire budget on those special effects rather than invest the time and the resources to craft an equally good storyline and hire a cast of decent actors. Sadly, it seems that more and more big-budget films are going the route of "let's wow you with special effects before satisfying your need for substance." Here's looking at you, Avatar.

Movie Review Summary:
Grade: F
Current All-Time Rank: Worst - #34
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Movie Review: UNSTOPPABLE

UNSTOPPABLE

2010
PG-13


You can watch the trailer here

I'm not quite sure when Denzel Washington decided he wanted to be an action star, but his recent history seems to be pushing him in that direction. Sure, it's not Bruce Willis-type action, but he keeps putting himself into these action thrillers that actually end up being pretty good (for the most part). I'm just a little curious about his affinity for trains and train-like vehicles (see: 2009's The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3).

Unstoppable, which was directed by Tony Scott, tells a story that's apparently inspired by true events (but then again, nearly every movie is nowadays). Washington plays Frank, a veteran train engineer who's training a rookie named Will (Chris Pine). On Will's first day, news breaks that an unmanned train is rocketing through the state without any air brakes. Despite a number of attempts to stop the train, it continues to plow towards a heavily populated city. Frank and Will decide to take things into their own hands and chase down the runaway train in an attempt to stop the unstoppable.

Honestly, there's really not much to say about the screenplay. We've got shot after shot of a train barreling down the tracks, and then we cut either to the dispatch headquarters or our leads' train. There are a couple entirely expected twists - there's no way the company's first attempt to stop the train without the help of Frank and Will is actually going to work - so there's nothing really new about all that.

The acting is decent all-around, and it's probably as good as you're going to get in a movie about a runaway train. Washington and Pine lead the cast, but we also get to see some familiar faces in Rosario Dawson, Ethan Suplee and Kevin Dunn. Each plays his or her part well, but it's nothing to rave about.

Still, there's something about the movie that just draws you in. Maybe it's the fact that it supposedly took place. Maybe it's the mile-a-minute action (that doesn't start right away, but once it gets going, it doesn't slow down). I couldn't help but think that the runaway train was essentially another character in the film much like the shark was a central character in Jaws. (Please don't think I'm comparing these two films - Jaws is by far the better film). Something about the movie hooked me, and it kept me captivated for its relatively short run-time.

Maybe I'm okay with Denzel taking on these action-oriented roles. They've been a little hit-and-miss, but Unstoppable will surely be a hit. But Denzel, make sure the next action movie you pick doesn't involve a runaway vehicle; it's getting a little old.

Movie Review Summary:
Grade: B-
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Movie Review: THE DAMNED UNITED

THE DAMNED UNITED

2009
R


You can watch the trailer here

The Damned United is a 2009 sports drama directed by Tom Hooper that tells a dramatized story of Brian Clough's 44-day reign as the coach of the Leeds United Football Club. The film cuts back and forth between the story of his time as the coach and flashbacks of the years leading up to his appointment. In the years prior, Clough (played by Michael Sheen) had established himself as a successful manager of a team in Darby, taking them from England's second division to winning the championship in the first division. After his promotion to the coach of Leeds, however, things began to unravel right before his very eyes as he tried to instill a stronger sense of pride among his players.

The screenplay itself has its ups and downs. For starters, I did enjoy the back and forth between the film's past and present as each scene gave a little more insight into Clough's character. In addition, the movie utilized archive footage both of Clough's teams and of the real Clough himself, giving the movie almost a pseudo-documentary feel. Be warned: everything I've read about The Damned United says that the situations in the film are grossly exaggerated, so don't take it all as pure fact despite the aforementioned feel. I did, however, have a little issue with how the film ended. I won't go into detail, but the final scene seemed a little Hollywood and ridiclous, and it just left a bad taste in my mouth.

The acting in the film was very, very good. I'm not quite sure what it is about Michael Sheen, but something about him just draws me into his characters. I've only seen him in a few films (most notably 2006's The Queen and 2008's Frost/Nixon) and as a semi-recurring character on television's "30 Rock," but every time I see him, he finds a way to utterly captivate me. The same goes this time around: however true his caricature of Brian Clough is, it's still fun to watch. In addition, the performance given by Timothy Spall is also noteworthy. His most recent work has been as Peter Pettigrew in the Harry Potter franchise, but he always seems to provide a great performance as an ancillary character.

Overall, the film is good at best. It received astounding review from critics, boasting a score on Metacritic that they say spells universal acclaim, but I can't quite say it's as good as all that. Still, if you're into soccer and the politics behind it all, then The Damned United is definitely for you. If not, then you may still want to watch it for Michael Sheen, but I'm not giving any guarantees.

Movie Review Summary:
Grade: B-
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Movie Review: MEGAMIND

MEGAMIND

2010
PG


You can watch the trailer here

I know that I'm a little bit late on seeing Megamind - I had every intention of seeing it last Friday upon its release - but now that I have seen it, you can have my review.

Our story, which was directed by Tom McGrath, follows the titular Megamind (voiced by Will Ferrell), a supervillain whose only joy in life is his constant battles with his arch-nemesis, Metro Man (voiced by Brad Pitt). When Megamind finally dispatches of the city's hero, life becomes dull. He resolves to create a new hero for his battling pleasure, mistakenly choosing TV cameraman Hal (voiced by Jonah Hill) as his future nemesis. When things go awry, Megamind enlists the help of an ever-present reporter named Roxanne (voiced by Tina Fey) to bring Metro City back to its feet.

The screenplay itself is your standard, superhero fare with a few twists in just the right places. We see a man stand up for the good of the city, but this time, that man starts his reign as the city's most prominent villain. I think what I liked most about the screenplay were the throwbacks to the original Superman film. Baby Megamind's start in life almost perfectly mirrors Superman's, and the same can be said for Metro Man himself. Also, one of Megamind's alter egos in the film bears a strong resemblance to a certain character played by Marlon Brando back in 1978. A coincidence? I think not.

The voice acting is good, if not spectacular. Ferrell brings his usual stuff to the lead role, and it's hit-or-miss just the same. Pitt and Hill are both equally good in much smaller roles. However, Fey's character stands out a little bit more simply because the animation artists were able to convey Fey's spirit through her on-screen persona. It was definitely a sight for sore eyes.

I would like to say that Megamind has arguably one of the greatest composition soundtracks that I have ever heard, and the filmmakers found a way to incorporate each song into its respective scene seamlessly. Aside from Hans Zimmer and Lorne Balfe's score, we've got a lot of familiar music from pop culture blasting through our ears. From Ozzy Osbourne's "Crazy Train" to Gun n' Roses' "Welcome to the Jungle," it's a rock party that I thoroughly enjoyed. They even threw in a little MJ at the end.

Overall, Megamind is good, but I don't think it's worth running to see. If you're going to watch it in theaters, see it in the morning when you can get a matinee price; otherwise, I'd just wait for the DVD.

Movie Review Summary:
Grade: B
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Addition to Awards

Movie Review: TRUE GRIT

TRUE GRIT

1969
G


You can watch the trailer here

When John Wayne won his only Oscar for his performance in True Grit, he started his acceptance speech by saying, "If I'd have known that, I'd have put that patch on thirty-five years earlier." In the entirety of his career, it took the character of Rooster Cogburn, a one-eyed, potbellied sheriff, to finally nab that golden statue. Although I have not seen the other films nominated in the Best Actor race that year (Anne of the Thousand Days; Goodbye, Mr. Chips; Midnight Cowboy), I have to wonder why the Academy chose to give Wayne this award in 1970. But more on that in a moment.

True Grit, which was directed by Henry Hathaway, follows the Mattie Ross (Kim Darby), a teenage girl whose father is shot and killed by Tom Chaney (Jeff Corey), one of the family's hired help. Mattie enlists the help of a federal marshal by the name of Rooster Cogburn because she has heard that he has "grit." After much persuasion and discussion over payment, the two set off to search for Chaney with the help of a Texas Ranger (Glen Campbell).

The screenplay, adapted from Charles Portis's novel of the same name, is very good for a film in the western genre. The dialogue is very tightly-written, and the story arcs given to both Rooster and Mattie are believable. It's not the most amazing screenplay I've ever seen, but it does well to keep the viewer's interest. In addition, the climactic shootout is definitely noteworthy and memorable.

If anything's hindering the movie from being fantastic, it's the acting. Now, don't get me wrong - there's nothing absolutely terrible about the actors' ability. I was extremely impressed with Darby's portrayal of Mattie Ross. She brought a level of sass to the screen that I'm not sure the Duke (that's John Wayne, for those who don't know) had as much trouble with a female character on-screen since Maureen O'Hara in 1963's McLintock!. However, Darby's character brings a different type of relationship to the screen for Wayne.

Sadly, it's Wayne himself that brings this one down a little bit. Going into the film, I had known that it was the role for which he had won his only Academy Award. Still, I went in with a grain of salt considering that Wayne's range as an actor seemed to be a little limited. After watching True Grit, I can safely say that I think Rooster Cogburn is just another version of the Duke himself; he's just wrapped up in a different costume this time around. John Wayne plays John Wayne; the closest I've ever seen him get away from that was in 1976's The Shootist, which proved to be his final film before his death. It's not that Wayne is bad in True Grit; I just felt that it was more of the same that we've all grown to know. He just looks a little bit different this time.

(On a side note, I think it's worth mentioning that both Oscar-winner Robert Duvall and the late Oscar-nominee Dennis Hopper make appearances in True Grit and probably give the best performances in the film.)

You've still gotta give this movie its due. The cinematography is fantastic as is the norm with John Wayne films; you get the sweeping sense of the country around the characters, and it truly does transport you to a completely different place. Elmer Bernstein's sweeping score also draws you into the film exceptionally well.

To be fair, I only watched this movie at this time because a remake of the film, starring Jeff Bridges, Matt Damon and Josh Brolin, will be released in late December. I have a strict policy of not watching sequels or remakes without seeing the original fare first. I would have watched True Grit regardless, and I'm glad that I did. It's a good, fun movie, although I'm not entirely sold on its stellar accolades. Maybe I'm just of a different generation.

Movie Review Summary:
Grade: B
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Movie Review: MEGA PIRANHA

MEGA PIRANHA

2010
R


You can watch the trailer here

I've been in one of those "so bad, it's good" kind of moods (in case you hadn't noticed my previous post). I had known about Mega Piranha for a while but had put off actually watching it. I found myself with a little bit of time on my hands, so I figured, what the hell? I'll probably get a pretty good laugh out of it, ya know?

I'm just gonna be straight up: this movie is god-awful. I know that it's a Syfy Channel production, and it was never meant to be a piece of quality cinema, but you can at least end the film with a sense of closure. I could go on for days and days about everything that was wrong with this movie, from the storyline to the acting to the low-budget special effects. But I knew all that was coming before I even hit play. I'm sure I could go on and on about all the flaws with this film, from the acting to Eric Forsberg's direction. However, I did have two major issues with the film that stuck out more than the rest.

The first was the editing. It's not that too much or too little was taken out of the film - that's neither here nor there. It's just the segues between each scene were so choppy that I honestly felt like I was getting motion sickness. Scenes would flash by over and over again, and they would go by so rapidly that my eyes couldn't keep up. Also, the same scenes were used over and over again throughout the film, even if it made absolutely no sense whatsoever (i.e., a shot of the Amazon river when the piranha had already made it to the coast of Florida).

However, my biggest problem with the film was the logic of the ending. I'm usually not big on spoilers, but it's not like I'm ruining The Usual Suspects. The ultimate solution to rid the piranha infestation was to make one of the bleed, causing the rest to attack and kill the wounded piranha. In theory, it makes sense. However, there are probably hundreds of giant piranha swimming along the Florida coast in the film's climactic moments, yet they only manage to wound one piranha. This starts a feeding frenzy, and the soldiers and scientists consider this a job well done and return to base.

...seriously, WTF mate? What happens once they finish the wounded piranha? The scientists said they'd all just wipe each other out, but I'm pretty sure that's not how it works. I know I'm giving the Syfy Channel a lot more credit than they deserve, but that's basic logic. They're not just going to keep attacking each other once they finish the wounded piranha. They're gonna start bombarding Florida again. Honestly, every character in the movie deserved to die.

Like I said, I'm going way overboard with this because it really doesn't deserve my criticism. I was hoping for an enjoyably bad experience, but this one just turned out to be flat-out bad. I strongly recommend Piranha 3D which had a higher production value and an exponentially higher level of entertainment.

Movie Review Summary:
Grade: F
Current All-Time Rank: Worst - #5
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Movie Review: DUE DATE

DUE DATE

2010
R


You can watch the trailer here

There's a common concern that a comedy film's trailer may give away the funniest parts of the film. This tactic is used to draw audience to the theaters, but when the best scenes are, in fact, used in the trailer, it leaves the audience wanting for more. As much as I hate to say it, Due Date commits this most heinous of comedic crimes.

Our story, which was directed by Todd Phillips, is your standard "two guys go on a race-against-time road trip" tale. Peter Highman (Robert Downey Jr.) and Ethan Tremblay (Zach Galifianakis) find themselves on the no-fly list after an Ethan-created situation in an Atlanta airport. Afraid he is going to miss the birth of his son, Peter reluctantly agrees to drive to Los Angeles with Ethan. The two opposing personalities generate quite a lot of tension between the two as they make their way across the country, bumbling and stumbling along the way, all the while finding out more about themselves than they had already known.

The story just seems too run-of-the-mill. I mean, the concept of a road trip with dysfunctional people has been done before (the first movies that comes to mind are 2000's Road Tripand 2006's Little Miss Sunshine), and there's only so much you can do with it. The most you can do to separate a film about a road trip is create more and more outlandish situations to keep your audience captivated. That's where Due Date hits a speed bump: the situations that Peter and Ethan find themselves in aren't quite ridiculous enough. In a way, it all seemed so terribly predictable. We know exactly how the movie is going to end, and it just waters everything else down. There is a moment midway through the film where Ethan uncovers the potential for a severely dramatic twist, but even that doesn't pull through in the end (however, it's probably good that it didn't). The movie was just a little mundane.

That's not to say that the acting isn't good. If anything, Due Date is worth watching solely for Downey Jr. and Galifianakis. I can never say enough about Robert Downey Jr.; the man just has a knack for acting, and he commands the attention whenever he's on the screen. Galifianakis, who's novelty is starting to run a little thin, did surprise me with a couple of dramatically emotional scenes. I knew such bits were within his acting realm (see: It's Kind of a Funny Story), but it's always a pleasure to see a little bit of range. You should also be on the lookout for some small roles and cameos, including an Oscar nominee and an Oscar winner, that prove to be rather effective and funny.

Ultimately, Due Date does provide a few laughs, although I had hoped to have shared a few more than I did. It's not a bad movie by any means, but considering the potential it had, I just wished they would've given me a little bit more for my dollar.

Movie Review Summary:
Grade: C+
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Movie Review: THE DARK CRYSTAL

THE DARK CRYSTAL

1982
PG


You can watch the trailer here

I used to think that Jim Henson could do no wrong. All of those movies and television shows based around the Muppets led me to believe that he was full of original ideas. I mean, as lame as it may sound, Muppet Treasure Island is one of my favorite movies. And while The Dark Crystal is definitely original in its production, it leaves a lot to be desired as entertainment.

Our story centers around a Gelfling named Jen (voiced by Henson) who lives on a world far from our own. His world is ruled by an evil band of creatures known as Skeksis who are waiting for the planet's three suns to align because it will give them immortality. Jen is supposedly the last Gelfling on the planet, making him the one prophesied to end the Skeksis's rule. He is sent to find a crystal shard that he will reunite with the dark crystal at the Skeksis's castle, thus ending their control over the planet. Along the way, Jen meets another Gelfling named Kira (voiced by Kathryn Mullen), and the two band together to complete Jen's quest.

When this film was released in 1982, it was promoted as a family film directed towards children. When you take into account that Jim Henson helmed the movie (in collaboration with Frank Oz), one can assume that a fun, lighthearted family film would be the final result. However, The Dark Crystal takes after its namesake and proves to be rather, well, dark. It ultimately seemed more geared towards adults than to children. Some of the creatures probably proved terribly frightening to children sitting in a theater.

The movie is your basic action-adventure story, and I felt like I had seen it all before. Sure, the characters and creatures are as original as they come, but I couldn't help but feel like Henson stole quite a bit from Tolkien. I mean, a quest to return an object to the place it was formed? Sounds a little hobbit-ish to me.

Most of the puppets are rather incredible to see, even if it's oh so obvious that they're puppets. Still, the movements are pretty lifelike. Many of the creatures in the film are quite complex, but none are more so than the Skeksis themselves; they're quite a sight to behold. I did, however, have issue with the our two lead Gelflings. Whereas every other creature, either or big small, has some capacity for showing emotion, the Gelfling puppets seem stoic at best. Their faces do not move, and I couldn't get any sense of emotion from them whatsoever. Normally I'd say that's normal with a puppet, but considering the fantastic job Henson did with every other creature, you would think he'd devote as much love and care for the "stars" of the film.

Overall, the film is innovative and should be commended for the time and effort it must have taken to create such complex puppets and scenery. However, when it comes to basic storytelling, the movie fails on every measure, creating a boring, lifeless film that leaves a lot to be desired.

Movie Review Summary:
Grade: D+
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Movie Review: THANKSKILLING

THANKSKILLING

2009
Not Rated


You can watch the trailer here
(Disclaimer: the trailer is uncensored)

The basic definition of a B-horror movie is to make a bad film that's so ridiculous that it's entertaining. The creators of ThanksKilling have done this to perfection.

Let's be honest: if you're actually watching a movie called ThanksKilling, you're not really looking for a Casablanca or a Citizen Kane. You're ready for some poorly-made, ridiculously entertaining fun. If you still want to watch ThanksKilling even after you hear the basics of the plot, then you're definitely going to enjoy it.

In this Jordan Downey-directed venture, we've basically got a group of five college co-eds who encompass the necessary horror film stereotypes: the jock, the whore, the fat guy, the nerd and the good girl. These five apparently all live in the same town, so they decide to drive home for Thanksgiving break together. Along the way, they stumble upon an talking, undead turkey (yes, I said turkey) whose sole purpose is to kill white people (you can't make this stuff up). From there, you can let your imagination run wild about where the film is going to go, but I can tell you this: it's one heck of a ride.

I could go on and on about how poor the screenplay is, or how horrendous the actors are, but I won't. Yes, it's all bad, but in a way, it's brilliant. The actors play their roles so ridiculously that they're almost presenting a caricature of your standard horror stereotypes. In a way, the entire film is taking a stab at horror conventions. And the turkey is one of the most hilariously twisted and amazing characters to ever be brought to life on-screen. I'll be saying his one-liners for weeks.

Honestly, the grade and all-time rank below really mean little. I simply have a strict code for grading movies, and that's how ThanksKilling's grade had to come out. However, this is arguably one of the most entertaining movies I've ever seen, and my pure gut feeling says to give it an "A." It's just one of those films that's so bad, it's good, and it's a purely semantic reason that it receives such a low grade from my system. It's movies like these that make me want to discard the system, or at least tamper with it to make it more fair for films like this. You should definitely watch ThanksKilling if you're into schlock like this. If not, then avoid it at all costs, but you'll definitely be missing out.

Movie Review Summary:
Grade: F
Current All-Time Rank: Worst - #86
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