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Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Movie Review: BRIDE OF THE MONSTER

BRIDE OF THE MONSTER
1955
Not Rated



Bride of the Monster is a 1955 horror and science fiction film from the mind of infamous director Ed Wood. It tells the story of Dr. Eric Vornoff (Bela Lugosi) who is trying to create an army of superhuman men through the use of nuclear powers. He conducts his experiments inside an old mansion guarded by a...well, a monster of Dr. Vornoff's own creation. When a number of people are killed by this "monster," local reporter Janet Lawton (Loretta King Hadler) chooses to investigate but ultimately falls prisoner to the crazed doctor. The police conduct an extensive search to find Miss Lawton, causing a number of problems to arise for everyone involved.

This is your classic Ed Wood fare - total and utter garbage. It's the kind of movie that you can watch while doing three or four different activities and still know exactly what's going on throughout its duration. As cool as that may sound, it's not always a sign of a good movie. There's pros and cons to screenplays like this. In the case of Bride of the Monster, it means that we have a rote, predictable story that should be easily understood. Theoretically, someone could watch two minutes and know exactly what's happening. However, with this film, there's so many intricate nonsensical details. I mean, there's a giant octopus in a swamp outside Dr. Vornoff's mansion. I'd explain the reasoning behind such a beast, but there doesn't really seem to be one. Despite this, we do have a straight-forward story that's relatively easily followed, but you'll be scratching your head wondering why certain pieces have been inserted here and there.

We've also got our standard terrible acting that defines Ed Wood pictures. I could go into detail about each of our leads and major supporting characters, but going into detail gives them a little too much justice. It's really not worth my time to dissect their pitifully bad performances, so you'll just have to take my word for it.

I think I've already spoken for much too long about this movie. It's bad in every way imaginable, and it's not even "so bad, it's good" like Plan 9 from Outer Space which I view as the worst movie of all time. Maybe you'll find some comedy in it all, but I just couldn't get hooked enough into it to find that humor.

Movie Review Summary:
Grade: F
Current All-Time Rank: Worst - #572 Thumbs Down

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